Friday, August 30, 2013

COMPULSIVE COMPARING

Many clever citizens of this world compare the lofty accomplishments of others to their own. The unhealthy habit of compulsive comparison leads to self-bashing for what I coulda, shoulda done. SO here I am, close to a career end, without grand babies to sit for and do fun things with, living in a society where having one or two is pretty much essential if you're going to feel useful in your grey years. Praise God for His will, way and living word ~ I am His wondrous creation, filled with His purposed Holy Spirit, not left to my human inherent tendency to feel less than, for not having more than someone else. God chose me, He equipped me, He has a superior plan for me, a purpose for me. Halleluiah!

My cerebral tendency is to compare myself to the grad student at work who has spent the last several months dedicating almost all his time preparing for some of the toughest engineering exams ever known to man, learning a zillion planning laws and diligently documenting every waking action, turning down countless fun events to pursue his goal. Another co-worker was recently promoted to begin a new role of helping countless citizens, and then while another bursts with job satisfaction, I sit upfront languishing in my tedious role. Wedding plans, new grand children being born, my sister is busy golfing, playing tennis and birthing more raggedy dolls to auction off at fund-raisers. My brother is climbing rocks, scuba diving in the sea of Cortez and other friends are taking exotic trips to far off places. These delighted highlights of people surrounding me totally ignores the fact that each person envied has down days and everyone panics, but it's human nature to compare ourselves to our peers.

To cope with this kind of dope bombarding my head:
1. List my character flaws and reasons why I am beloved by God, anyway, every day
2. Find greater meaning in my appointed place, in my position in Christ. .
3. Accept that I am more than a conqueror, that I am adequate and valued by He who created me.